Sealed with a Liverpool Kiss

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Sunday, July 04, 2004

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Think I'd better leave right now, before I fall any deeper...

Sighs. Sorry guys, i think i made this seem like a very depressing blog with all my sighing from waaaaaaay back. It's something that i can't help, cause i think i'm a really dumb person. Ok let's start from where i left off in the last entry:

I feel like i'm in a situation of a mistress. Yea, i liken this whole thing like a 3-way relationship. See, he's like the husband, the girlfriend's the wife and i'm the mistress. The husband and wife are happily married and then along came a mistress, which, in this case, is me. OK then sparks kinda flew between the mistress and the husband, without the wife knowing anything. One day, the mistress asks the husband if he still has feelings for the wife, and he avoids the question altogether. In his heart, the husband is thinking that the mistress asked this question because she wants him to divorce the wife, but this, in fact, is not the case at all. The mistress merely wanted to know if he still loved the wife because if he didn't, then she would advise him not to lead the wife on anymore. If he did love the wife, then she would just back out of the relationship. So what i draw from here is, as in all relationships, the husband would never, over his bloody dead body divorce the wife for the mistress under any circumstances. I dont understand this. Why is it like this? Someone give me a rational explanation for this. I mean, besides the fact that the wife is rich, cause, in my case, the husband is the rich one. And don't tell me that its because the wife didnt want the divorce.
So in my case, i asked him if he still liked the girlfriend and he didn't reply me. At all. Isn't he avoiding this? Seriously, i'm not one who would go and break up a couple. If he likes me, then i think he should consider his options and then tell me. If he doesn't like me then TELL me and stop fucking lead me on!! I WILL back out if thats really the case.

But for now, i don't know. He's not replying me. And i can only think of three possibilities for his behaviour last week. a) he dont want to have anything personal to do with me anymore b) he's contemplating on who to choose c) he's trying to get thru a rough patch with his girlf so he did this to me, then now they're ok so he's not contacting me anymore.
I think it's c). What say you guys? Lets have a poll and see what you think.
I'm really sad about this, cause i feel that i've been cheated and used. For the second time. The first time he cheated me/led me on. Now hes using me. Great. I'm such a fool for him that i don't even learn my lessons. Chad and wy were both saying that if he cheats me then they'll do something really drastic (and gross) to him. Shan't say what. But hey women, thanks and huggies for attempting to cheer me up and getting my mind off him for some time. Love ya guys.
Right now i just feel so dull and gloody. And, quoting ronald weasely, "i felt like i'll never be happy again!" Sighs. So sad so sad so sad. Don't play with love people, cause someday love will play you back.

The Trouble With Love Is

Love can be a many splendid thing
Has another joy you bring
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you’ll just want the world to see
But like a drunk that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was just a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride

The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
(The trouble with love is) See your heart its in your soul
(It doesn’t care how fast you fall) You wont remember control
(And you can’t refuse the call)
See you’ve got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo….ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

I wait all day, all night long for his message, but none ever comes my way. I guess i must be that unlucky to encounter such a person who has the ability to make me feel so damn sad and so damn miserable. The thing is, i dont even know if he actually realises what he's doing to me. But guess i'll just have to take each day at a time.

sealed with a really sad liverpool kiss,
-cher-

***********
12:05 AM
***********

The Attention Seeker

WY + Snowy + Poka Neembong Eng + Napoleon
im remaining 19 for life!
Liverpool FC
Singapore
NUS FASS
22nd June
You'll nv walk alone

Totally in love wid`

myself
globe trekking
cocoa dusted almond
white chocolate ice blended
shopping
suppers
Romance novels and chic lit
lychee martinis
zouk
goon

get outta my face if u're..

ugly
act cute
TCMI (totally cannot make it)
after my man

GIMME GIMME GIMME!!

Liverpool jersey
Crumpler bag
Spa treatment
MORE CLOTHES DANG IT!

My bitches and faggies

Goon
Wensu
Winnie
Phyllis
Maril
Gwen
Liane
Beth
Julie
Pauline
Amanda
Joel
Dee
Castor
Javin
Chad
Kwan Shen
Wei Xin
Celest
Lin Feng
Irene
Ruben

Other things to check out

LFC Webbie
Topshop Singapore
Franz Ferdinand
Birkenstock
Beau Monde
Vainpot
XpressFlower
My friends
Love Meridian Day
England Field Trip
Vacation Down South

Credits

my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder,

all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her...

all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter,

she is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.

-Jeff Buckley