Sealed with a Liverpool Kiss

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Sunday, July 18, 2004

:: ::

Running

     Sigh.. my mood have been dropping. Is it dued to my stress from work? Hell! I don't know anymore. Argh! Maybe this is one of my mood swings. Really weird as I don't usually have them. This thus makes me remember those years as a troubled and angst youth. With those thoughts that the world is turning black. Where there was no such thing as true love, nor loyalty, and faithfulness. That's when I made the vow. What vow, u guess many of you know what it is. It's an opinion towards marriage I guess. But, I am not talking about that now.

      I've been brooding for a couple of hours. It's so sudden that it even took me by surprise. One moment I was talking like my usual self, the next, I transformed into this short-tempered monster. I am no mood what so ever, thus sorry cher for my crap advice. I was pretty vexed just now to give you proper advices regarding him. I am not saying that I am in a correct state to give you any advice now. Note that my mouth is clamp shut. Not today. Maybe I was in self denial todae until just now. Or maybe I just got distracted. Sigh~

     I'm being evacuated everywhere. From coffee bean, the airport one. And most recently, I am sort of evacated from my safe haven. It's haven no more. I guess I am no person of importance to be remembered by anyone. When me and Cher enters sentosa, we might as well not go. I feel that we are treated transparently. Not just by Jas, but by some regulars. The hi-bye situation stuns me yet again. Surprise of a century eh? So I lost my safe haven. I mean, the only place where I take comfort in is my bed. Where i snuggle up reading and sleeping. It is the only thing I have nothing to complain about I guess.

     Thoughts of running have been filling my silly head. Running and flying away. And soaring. Just soar towards the horizon and never look back. Leave and forget and never remember. Why should I remember anything when I am not remembered? Do I stand alone, that solitary creature of the night that I mentioned. Maybe. I am only trying to reach my utopia, but the harder I strive for it, the more impossible and far it seems to be. Maybe that peace within myself can never be achieved, I don't know. I am constantly on this run, searching for something. What thing, I have no clue. My peace maybe? Or stranded pieces of me? A soul mate? A life? Utopia?

      Will I ever stop running and fleeing? Can someone give me that reason to stay? I have been wanting to run even at that tender age of 12, first, leave behind Singapore for what seems to be utopian Australia. Now, I still want to leave Singapore and many behind, and what it seems to be the tranquil utopic life of England(not London). Just immerse myself in the culture.

       What a joke..

Running
Elaine + Snowy

Mood: brooding
music: some classical music(Greensleeves). Thanx cher, it did help, a little..

***********
11:32 PM
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The Attention Seeker

WY + Snowy + Poka Neembong Eng + Napoleon
im remaining 19 for life!
Liverpool FC
Singapore
NUS FASS
22nd June
You'll nv walk alone

Totally in love wid`

myself
globe trekking
cocoa dusted almond
white chocolate ice blended
shopping
suppers
Romance novels and chic lit
lychee martinis
zouk
goon

get outta my face if u're..

ugly
act cute
TCMI (totally cannot make it)
after my man

GIMME GIMME GIMME!!

Liverpool jersey
Crumpler bag
Spa treatment
MORE CLOTHES DANG IT!

My bitches and faggies

Goon
Wensu
Winnie
Phyllis
Maril
Gwen
Liane
Beth
Julie
Pauline
Amanda
Joel
Dee
Castor
Javin
Chad
Kwan Shen
Wei Xin
Celest
Lin Feng
Irene
Ruben

Other things to check out

LFC Webbie
Topshop Singapore
Franz Ferdinand
Birkenstock
Beau Monde
Vainpot
XpressFlower
My friends
Love Meridian Day
England Field Trip
Vacation Down South

Credits

my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder,

all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her...

all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter,

she is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.

-Jeff Buckley