Sealed with a Liverpool Kiss

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Monday, December 29, 2003

:: ::

i didnt mean to fall in love with you......

Am crushed. Depressed. Saddened. Devastated. Its not the end; he hasnt given me the answer but i know that the end's drawing near. Its not a line from lotr, for god's sake. Back to what i was saying, i think ive only got almost zilch chance of HIM ever ever ever liking me. A friend asked about things between HIM and i, and i told him to read the earlier entries. He'd read,and the conv went like this:
J: Is he the one tat u really like?
J: Is he the one u think u can out away all things just for him?
me: Its yes to both
me: but i dunno if this is wad he thinks
J: well..
J: Are u sure u can push aside EVERYTHING just for him?
** At this point of time i was very sure that i could, unless something urgent cropped up and i couldnt be with him but im sure that he would understand**
J: Tat case u wait for him lor...
me: Its nt abt e waiting part
me: Its abt why he suddenly went offline when he knew i was waiting for e ans
J: Not tat i'm condeming him or wad...
J: But think
J: Wad u think he means when he just went offline without letting u noe...
J: And den till now he haven msg u or let u noe wad happen..
** By now im totally crushed**
Seriously, i dont know if i should continue to have faith or just let go. Im saddened; it heartwrenching for such things to happen. Half of me wants to let go while the other half wants to continue having faith. To others it may not be called having faith, but rather daydreaming, or just having so called fat hope. I guess faith is a better word, and it keeps me going besides just sitting down and hoping that things will turn out right. HE'S slowly killing me by torturing me; by putting me through turmoil after turmoil, heartbreak after heartbreak, rapidly swinging moods. And the best of all is that HE doesn't have a clue that HE'S putting me through all these. God save my soul, help me to keep the faith..............
Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: BB Mak- Ghost of You and Me

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4:17 AM
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The Attention Seeker

WY + Snowy + Poka Neembong Eng + Napoleon
im remaining 19 for life!
Liverpool FC
Singapore
NUS FASS
22nd June
You'll nv walk alone

Totally in love wid`

myself
globe trekking
cocoa dusted almond
white chocolate ice blended
shopping
suppers
Romance novels and chic lit
lychee martinis
zouk
goon

get outta my face if u're..

ugly
act cute
TCMI (totally cannot make it)
after my man

GIMME GIMME GIMME!!

Liverpool jersey
Crumpler bag
Spa treatment
MORE CLOTHES DANG IT!

My bitches and faggies

Goon
Wensu
Winnie
Phyllis
Maril
Gwen
Liane
Beth
Julie
Pauline
Amanda
Joel
Dee
Castor
Javin
Chad
Kwan Shen
Wei Xin
Celest
Lin Feng
Irene
Ruben

Other things to check out

LFC Webbie
Topshop Singapore
Franz Ferdinand
Birkenstock
Beau Monde
Vainpot
XpressFlower
My friends
Love Meridian Day
England Field Trip
Vacation Down South

Credits

my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder,

all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her...

all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter,

she is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.

-Jeff Buckley